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Drop Dead Delicious
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Psycho Serum
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Electrifying Energy
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Haunts Your Thirst
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zombie rampage
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Scary Good
Energetic experiments
Mass Hysteria In A Can
gossip from beyond
Resurrect Your Standards
| Scroll left to right | frankenfuel | shriek free substances |
|---|---|---|
| Will Get Possesed After Consuming | ||
| Taste Buds: Conjured From The Depths of Dull | ||
| Carefully Cursed Ingredients. For The Delightfully Deranged | ||
| Side Effects Of Supernatural Supremacy |
Graveyard Party Pack
Regular price
$22.97
Sale price
$32.00
On Sale
Behold, a coffin's worth of electrical excellence - eight perfectly calibrated cans of beautiful madness, ready to transform any gathering into a proper laboratory experiment. Whether you choose Franken Flavor Original, Franken Zero Sugar, or a delightfully split personality of both, each Graveyard Party Pack comes equipped with enough voltage to raise the dead and corrupt the minds of the living... willingly, of course."
Creature Feature Formula
Sugar-Free Seance
Unlike other zero-sugar energy drinks that leave your taste buds screaming in terror, this potion goes down smooth and vanishes like a ghost in the night
Good Taste That Never Dies
No gruesome aftertaste lurking in the shadows like your ex at a zombie prom. We've banished that to the shadow realm where it belongs. This supernatural sipper is smooth and ready to possess your taste buds
Not Your Mortal's Energy Drink
While other brands are busy playing it safe in their corporate coffins, we're out here raising hell with zero sugar and all the voltage zapping humans back to life. Join us in our coven of caffeinated chaos and our asylum of freakish flavor
Eerily Eye Catching
Get ZAPPED into another dimension with Frankie, our shock-loving mascot, teaming up with Purrple Alien (our cosmic catastrophe from Planet WTF), while TipZee keeps the chaos perfectly unbalanced
Caffeinated Catacombs
No need to sacrifice your soul for a supernatural boost. We've summoned 110mg of caffeine straight from the underworld's finest coffee beans!
Mythically Marvelous Mixture
Straight from the depths of Frankie's haunted hydration hub comes this monstrously magnificent brew! After centuries of mad experiments, failed potions, and several accidental dimensional portals, he's finally created a beverage with enough voltage to jumpstart your human ass into the next realm
frankie's voltage vault
Deep in the basement of a condemned asylum, where flickering fluorescents cast shadows that dance like possessed marionettes, our beloved Frankie toils away at his life's work. They called him mad - DELICIOUSLY mad - for his dreams of liquid perfection. But in these twilight hours, between the tick of mortality and the tock of lunacy, something extraordinary sparked to life. Now each formula carries whispers of that electric night, every flavor echoes like nectar from a midnight garden, and every batch imprisons pure pandemonium by pale moonlight.
✓ Small Batch, Big Voltage, Bad Intentions
✓ Doctors Strongly Discourage Consumption
✓ Hometown Horror In Every Can
THE MADMAN'S MORGUE
Pick Your Poision
whispers from the ward
Tales From The Successfully Sedated
The Caffeinated Congregation
Max Lavelle: Master of the Low End Prophecies
As the four-stringed executioner of The Black Dahlia Murder, he doesn't just play bass - he performs sonic sacrifices that would make Lovecraft himself reach for a double espresso. When we witnessed Max's dedication to both the technical perfection of death metal and the electromagnetic alchemy of energetic cultivation, we knew he was destined for our inner circle of delirious devotees. His precision is surgical, his timing atomic, and his tone is what you hear when the abyss gargled liquid thunder and birthed a thousand screaming frequencies that whisper your mother's maiden name. We welcome Max to The Caffeinated Congregation not just as a musician, but as a true apostle of audiological alchemy.
(Photo By. Stefan Bollman)
Lost Your Mind? We're Here To Help!
We love connecting with our caffeine-crazed crypt keepers, but get seriously spooked if you don't have a devilishly delightful experience. Things happen sometimes; we're human(ish) after all. Reach out to us by ghost phone or hex-mail with any screams, groans, or bone-chilling puns you may have.
FAQ
Common Concerns That Haunt Our Halls
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While others peddle ordinary energy drinks, we've created something properly ZAPPED to life through forbidden science and manic methodology. Each can carries Frankie's electric signature, delivering pure voltage that transforms tired mortals into enlightened beings. Why be basic when you can be beautifully unhinged?
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Our signature formula contains 110mg of pure electrical excellence, essential B-vitamins, and either pure cane sugar or zero sugar salvation - all calibrated for optimal reanimation. Each can is a testament to mad science gone deliciously right, properly tested by our most devoted asylum residents.
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For those new to our laboratory, we recommend starting with a 4 pack of either Franken Flavor Original or Zero Sugar - both properly ZAPPED for your enlightenment. Once properly converted, consider our Graveyard Party Pack for mass hysteria applications. The choice between sweet chaos and sugar-free salvation is yours... choose wisely.
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Our phantom fleet delivers voltage to test subjects across the continental United States. Each order is carefully packaged in our laboratory to ensure your dose of beautiful madness arrives in pristine condition. International shipping coming soon - madness knows no borders.